Words by Asabea Britton

“I am a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a girlfriend and a midwife. I am sensitive, yet strong, I have a short temper, but can forgive easily. I’m driven, yet lazy. I am harsh on myself, and I am working on being kinder to myself. 

My message is for people, women, and mothers in particular to trust their intuition. Dare to listen to that little voice inside, many times it holds the answer. To dare to believe in their bodies, and your minds ability to do amazing things. Also, that knowledge is power.

My body is my vessel. I try to see my body as just that, a vessel to take me around the world, a vessel that helps me run, hug, dance – all those things you sometimes take for granted. A vessel that has been particularly kind to me, always healthy, always strong. Almost always anyway. A vessel that has given me two of the most amazing experiences and people in my life; my births and my children. I try my best never to say a bad word about my body. I am so thankful for everything it has done for me.

My children are my greatest joys and my greatest challenges. They humble me and teach me what patience is. Most of all, they teach me what unconditional love is. They test me and make me look at myself more clearly. They make me see the good and the bad in me. They are my greatest worry, and my greatest hope. 

The experience of giving birth was two very different experiences. I enjoyed both, but my latest birth was perfect. For me. I don’t ever think I have felt stronger or more empowered, than I did after I given birth to my son in our bathtub. Pushing him out, surrounded by my loved ones, in our home, seeing his little body wiggle under the water, his eyes wide open looking at me, and lifting him to my chest slowly, the silence before we all cried. That was a piece of heaven right there.

Becoming a mother was not easy. Well, conceiving him was, but actual parenting. I wasn’t completly ready for it. The first few weeks I wondered what I had gotten myself into. But the love grew, stronger than I could have ever imagined, and with love came more ease. It’s still challenging of course, but I enjoy it so much. So thankful for being their mother.

Breastfeeding, to me, means a moment of peace, food for my little one, a quick drink for my big boy, comfort for both, a bonding moment for the brothers. I have breastfed for almost 2,5 years. Through pregnancy, and now breastfeeding my two boys. It’s been quite a journey and something I would’t trade for the world. For me, breastfeeding has been easy, which has to do with a little bit of luck and a lot of knowledge and support. I strive to give other people who wish to breastfeed that same knowledge and support.

I decided to become a midwife because I love working in an environment surrounded by women. The female body interests me with all it can do. I loved the idea of being a part of such intimate parts of people’s lives, helping them make those experiences memorable in a good way, hopefully. Also, I thought midwives always seemed so cool and confident, I wanted to be part of their crew.

In my early life I thought I needed the approval of men. I thought my looks were way more important than they are. I thought I wasn’t very smart, but I had a feeling I could do anything if I really tried. I thought being cool, meant being tough. I thought I had to hurry up and grow up.

If I could, I would move to Ghana and spend the winters there and the summers in Sweden. I would work as a midwife in a small clinic near the beach. I’d learn twi, my mother’s first language. I would let my kids grow up with Ghana as their second home. If I could, I would change the maternity care here in Sweden so that midwives could work under better conditions, and women could be given more choices as to how they want to birth, and be guaranteed a midwife that they know, throughout the entire process of pregnancy, birth and the first weeks postpartum.

My life philosophy is don’t worry too much. To always be kind to yourself and others and take care of those you love while they’re around.

My happy place is my summer house in Sörmland in Sweden. With my whole family there. A perfect moment for me is laying in my mothers bed in our summer house, a glass of wine in my hand, my mother working in the bed next to me, hearing my dad listen to the radio and talking to himself in the kitchen, hearing the kids playing outside and my sisters laugh about something silly in the living room next door.

I love to be with my family and close friends, having a good meal and a laugh.

I don’t want to stress. I try hard to not stress too much. To have perspective on things. When I say to myself ”I just need to do this one thing ’’ I try to check myself and ask if I really NEED to do it or can it wait. Usually it can wait. I try my best to prioritize the things that are truly important to me.

I want to recommend my Youtube lectures. I have one on birth and one on breastfeeding. They are free and a good recourse especially during these times when so many informational meetings at hospitals are canceled. They are in swedish though. My plan is to do english versions too, I just need to find the time …

I hate it when people aren’t themselves. I think that shines through pretty easily and it makes me quite uncomfortable. I try hard to be myself and not care too much what others think of me, even though it can be hard sometimes, I wish the same from the people i meet.

When I am old I hope the planet will be doing okay, even though it doesn’t seem to hopefull. I hope my children are happy and healthy. I hope their lives are rich with love and that they love themselves. I wish i will look back at my life and feel proud, feel that i spent my time well, that I helped people and didn’t stress the little things. I hope I will be loved and love back. I hope my body is still helping me run, hug and dance.

When I need strength I turn to my mother and my two sisters. They are my biggest supporters. They are also who I turn to when I feel weak and need to let that out. Nothing can make me let out a cry easier, than hearing my mother’s voice.

Love to me is forgiveness, empathy and trust. ☮

See and read more from Asabea here.