“I’ve had access to two cultures and I grew up in both a poor and well-off neighborhood. It made me percipient and strong but also divided. I am a woman with many faces.
I think the role of a mother is one of the most stereotyped and stigmatized roles we have in our society. I have no desire to be a perfect mom but I want to be the best mom that I can be to my daughter. I make mistakes and hopefully my daughter will understand that the world is not perfect and that she herself does not have to be perfect and its okey. We do our best.
Motherhood to me means to care, feed, and to love unconditionally your child. But also to make sure she is prepared to face the world and take care of herself. All those things can be different from mother to mother and so child to child but ultimately you want your child to grow up and be safe and happy. Being a mother is the most difficult role I’ve ever taken on and I’m still trying to figure it out. I think every parent are a trauma for their child one way or another. You just want to do as little damage as possible.
The biggest change for me having a child is that I don’t have time to be so self-absorbed, and you get to nurture someone and see them grow. It’s like I have a deeper understanding of a certain type of art or movies or books now. I necessarily don’t think you have to have a child to get there, for some people it might be the same with a pet or even a plant. You nurture it, see it grow and really it comes down to the circle of life, our planet and our existence. For me its a powerful feeling and its all connected to life.
Everybody gets assigned different roles all through ones life. I’m a daughter, a sister, a mother, a woman, a black woman. But what’s so great with my job is that I get to play character or roles that I may not have been assigned in real life. I get to live so many lives for a brief moment. Thats the most epic thing with being an actor. There is a movie-world and there is a real-world and very often the actual real world is way more complex and colourful than what we see on TV or in the movies. The movie-world as I call it has a big effect on how people view the real-world and if we depict certain types of people one way over and over again we cement the way we perceive those people. Stereotyping can be a very effective tool when it comes to creating a role but I’m more interested in the nuances. I often get to audition for the character role called ”Fatima” in Sweden. It’s so funny, Fatima is often a young woman, she is cocky and an immigrant or a child of immigrants. I dont mind taking on a character whose name is Fatima if the role is interesting but there are more ways to portray a woman called Fatima than I usually get to read.”
I started the podcast Fenomenala kvinnor because I felt a lack of diverse representation of black women in Sweden. The purpose of the podcast is to inspire and enhance visibility of black women in a positive sense. Historically, as we know women stories have often been forgotten and even more so black women. This is a way to preserve the stories of these phenomenal women, so young women can have a larger range of role models that looks like them and also to give white women the chance to identify and get inspired by black women. So in every episode I meet a black woman with a different proffession and talk about their journey, life, work and hair.
I rarely feel completely balanced but one thing I’ve been doing for a couple of years is to go surfing. When you’re in the ocean on your surfboard you have to be aware of your surroundings and read the ocean. You simply cannot be in your head. You have a couple of seconds to paddle and to catch the wave and there is no time to drift into thoughts. You have to be in the ”now” and if you manage to catch the wave it’s an incredible feeling of being one with nature, it’s sounds pretentious but it’s a feeling of complete peace for me… until you crash into the wave haha.
I really didn’t think it was possible to be an actor in Sweden. When I grew up there wasn’t any actors that I saw that look liked me. But I had a teacher in school who pushed me to apply to a theatre high-school after she saw me in a christmas play. So I applied and got in and I fell in love with acting and also storytelling. The simple thing of just being a part of telling a story.
I don’t have a specific role that I dream of, but I wanna work with people who inspire me and do complex roles that challenge me. But it would be fun to do an action movie.
My favourite thing to do with Pilo is to every morning try to take a moment to dance with her. We choose one song and dance together.
What surprised me most of becoming a parent is the lack of sleep, people need to prepare you way more for that.
My philosophy in life fits in this poem by Wislawa Szymborska;
Whatever you say reverberates,
whatever you don’t say speaks for itself.
So either way you’re talking politics.
I have tremendous respect for animals but I do fear them a lot especially cats and birds to name a few but Im working on it.
I am truly happy when I’m healthy and when I dance. I’m not a good dancer but I just love to dance especially when nobody is watching.
I would say to my 16-year old self to remember the way you are right now. You are fearless, and full of possibilities and don’t loose that when you get older.” ☮