MIA CASH is a gestalt psychotheraput student, child protection practitioner and disability support worker living in Høvik, and lives just outside of Oslo with her husband Bård and their three children Talia, 10, Patrick, 6 and Marley, 2. To celebrate love we give you the story of Mia and Bård’s beautiful wedding.
Hello Mia, you live in Oslo and had a beautiful wedding last year. Who are you, tell us a little about yourself!
– Thats a difficult question for me. Hm, I’m a daughter, a big sister, little sister, wife and a friend. But for the past 10 years I’ve been a mother. I love it more than anything in the world and I totally understand why people want to have a big family! It’s so much fun! Having three kids takes up all of your time and it becomes your identity, so I must say I find ita bit hard to look past that.
However, I have a genuine interest in people, especially children and teens and I spend most of my waking hours with people who have a hard time in life in some way. The older I get the more I need, and enjoy time alone when I’m not at work. A long bath does wonders for a working mama:-)
At my core I’m an introverted person. I’m a `feeler` with intense emotions. I can get overwhelmed and might need a day alone after spending time with many people.
I also spend a lot of time on inner work like reading psychology and meditation. A coffee in the garden with our three chickens or a walk in the forest gives me energy.
Bård is super social and would probably have people around 24/7. He gets me up and out and I get him to calm down and relax. We also really enjoy having friends and family over and I love the planning part of it. We are both food lovers and spend time making and appreciating delicious food. Oh, and the occasional night out where we dance for 5 hours straight are the best! It’s about finding the balance and I feel like we found our way.
“We wanted the wedding to be small and intimate. We disguised it as a big birthday party and decided it was going to be a surprise wedding.”
You have a big family.
– I would say yes, a big familiy here in Norway, all based in and just outside of Oslo. Im also half Australian so my other side of the family is mainly based in Melbourne. My three brothers are spread all over the world. London, NYC and Dallas. My big brother just recently moved home to Oslo with his wife after living abroad for 15 years.
When did you get married?
– On the August 24th, 2019.
The preparations for the wedding, did you do it all by yourself?
– Well, Its quite a funny story actually. We planned on getting married in 2019 in Antiparos, Greece where Bårds mothers has a breathtaking house. We had pretty much planned everything. However, our little Marley decided to arrive! So we chose to postpone the wedding. I didnt want to be 7 months pregnant on our wedding day.
As time passed and we started thinking about the wedding again, we realized we wanted a small and intimate wedding. We disguised the wedding as a big birthday party and decided it was going to be a surprise wedding! We had quests come from Australia, America and London, so you can imagine the effort and secrecy we had to put into into it. We only told our mothers, best man and my maid of honours two or three weeks prior to the wedding. So we pretty much planned it ourselves yes. Planning a wedding can be pretty overwhelming and it’s easy to get caught up in thoughts about what we “should” do, and the “correct” way to get married. I started feeling a bit disconnected and overwhelmed with the whole process early on. It just didn’t feel right. I’m not a traditional bride or the “cut the cake and wedding dance kind of person”. So we changed our focus a bit and started thinking about what WE wanted and what makes us, us. What would make us happy and what would we look back and remember from that day. We wanted a party, and we wanted it to be fun for everyone. We also wanted to look back and remember the wedding planning as something fun and beautiful, not stressful and exhausting. I think one of the best parts of the planning was that it was only Bård and myself who knew about the wedding, so it became a very intimate process and we deeply connected throughout that year of planning.
“We wanted a minimalistic style. We didn’t want alot of “stuff” so the things we ended up choosing were carefully picked out.”
“I think one of the best parts of the planning was that it was only Bård and myself who knew about the wedding, so it became a very intimate process and we deeply connected throughout that year of planning.”
“We got pregnant after only dating for a few months, so our whole relationship has been being parents. Its not always easy finding time to ourselves with three young kids. We mostly crash on the couch by the end of the day. But for us its in the small things.”
"Do you. Strip it down to what makes you you, and focus on what you want to remember from your day. There’s nothing you have to do. It’s your day. Get rid of thoughts like “we should” and “we have to”. The day passes too quickly so try and make the planning part of the whole process you remember as something fun and beautiful."
Did you have a wedding theme?
– It was something that emerged throughout the process, and became something in between a natural, minimalistic with a twist of boho.
The beautiful dress!
– Ah, my dress. This was quite a ride. It all started with me not finding anything I liked. I visited wedding dress shops in Oslo and spent a lot of time online. But never found anything that felt like me (again, not the traditional bride). So I decided to design my own dress! I had no knowledge about materials or how to put it all together so I needed help. I started gathering pictures of what I liked in various dresses and started planning it all with my mother in laws good friend Kari Evjan (Syco). Being able to choose exactly the material and how the dress would fall on me was so much fun! Kari made me feel so safe with all her knowledge and inspiration. It was very important for me to feel comfortable and feel like myself. So the dress ended up being a light flowy french silk lace dress with big arms. Boho bride. Just perfect! It’s actually two dresses. A nude toned silk, strap dress and the lace dress over the top. Meaning the dresses can be used separately even though I’m not getting married again:-)
What do you love about Bård?
– Where do I start! What I probably love the most and what attracted me to him was his big heart. His love, care and compassion towards everyone is so humbling. Whether it’s our children, his mother or the bus driver. His endless interest and love towards everyone is amazing. I think whoever you ask, they would say he’s just one of those genuine good guys, you know? Someone you can always count on. His happy, fun, light spirit and positive outlook on life are other amazing qualities I cherish a lot. He lights up the room with his positive energy and laughter. And I couldn’t have asked for a better father to my children. He’s got the package.
“My dress. This was quite a ride. It all started with me not finding anything I liked. I visited some wedding dress shops in Oslo and spent a lot of time online. But never found anything that felt like me (again, not the traditional bride). So i decided to design it myself.”
"It was very important for me to feel comfortable and feel like myself. So it ended up being a light flowy french silk lace dress with big arms. Boho, hippy bride. Just perfect!"
Any tips and tricks you want to share?
– There’s so much you can do yourself! You don’t need a fancy wedding planner. I bought heaps of material that I loved and ended up cutting out 90 napkins and making my own table runners. I also decided on having dried flowers as my bouquet and on the tables. That way I could reuse the flowers. I still have my beautiful bouquet in the living room (Marte Gulli from Tørka blomster). I also bought candle holders that I loved so that I could use them on other occasions. It doesn’t have to be “typical wedding” things for it to work (there so many ugly things out there). Again, ask the question, what do we like? And off course, stay comfortable. You want to be able to move around, dance and relax. When you’re comfortable you shine!
Best advise for planning a wedding?
– Do you. Strip it down to what makes you you, and focus on what you want to remember from your day. There’s nothing you have to do. It’s your day. Get rid of thoughts like “we should” and “we have to”. The day passes too quickly so try and make the planning part of the whole process you remember as something fun and beautiful. With so much going on and so many people it’s easy for you and the groom to end up in two different sides of the room and all of a sudden the day is over. I highly recommend fitting in some small planned moments throughout the day where it’s just you and your husband.
Oh, and spend some time finding a photographer you like. I found Mira who very beautifully tells a story with her pictures. I fell in love with her work straight away. Her style and eye for details and lighting was just mind blowing. We mostly wanted natural, unstaged pictures. Pictures keep the memories alive. The last thing you want is to end up with terrible wedding pictures. We also hired a fantastic videographer (Nikolas Gogstad Photography) that made a video of our day. Since we decided to have a surprise wedding we wanted someone to catch all the unexpected moments. Bård and I felt a connection both of them, our personalities were a good match for us on the big day. I don’t like being taken pictures of so I wanted someone who I feel comfortable with and in a way was “invisible”.
"We didn't have the traditional guestbook, but ended up making a huge puzzle out of wood with lots of blank pieces where our guest could sight their names or write something small."
It’s all in the details?
– Yes and no. We wanted a minimalistic style. We didn’t want alot of “stuff” so the things we ended up choosing were carefully picked out. Like the little glass vases for the tiny dried flowers on the tables and the dark brow silk ribbon around the napkins. It was important for us to include the people in our family who had passed away, so we framed old photographs of our grandparents and great grandparents and made a lovely little area with candles and pictures. I think our family really enjoyed that. We didn’t have the traditional guestbook, but ended up making a huge puzzle out of wood with lots of blank pieces where our guest could sight their names or write something small.
How do you keep love alive?
– Well, first I must mention that we got pregnant after only dating for a few months! So our whole relationship has been being parents. I think I can count on one hand the times we have been on a proper date. Our mothers are young, active and hard working so the babysitting options are limited unfortunately. We also had my first daughter Talia when I was only just turned 22, so my friends were at a different place you know?
Its not always easy finding time to ourselves with three young kids. We mostly crash on the couch by the end of the day. But for us its in the small things. Like when Bård hangs post it notes around the house, or lets me sleep an extra house in the morning and brings me coffee in bed or random texts messages. We are both very attentive to each other and very aware and sensitive to each others emotions. So being present and there for each other in the daily chaos is crucial. Its important for us to not feel like we are being taken for granted. We pay a lot of attention on being grateful and thanking each other.